


The Three Breakups

by summerblues



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerblues/pseuds/summerblues
Summary: The times when love isn't enough, more than enough, and just enough.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 13





	The Three Breakups

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to athena the main b for ruining her sleeping schedule to give feedbacks 🥺

**I. High school - the 1st breakup**

"Let's end it."

My restless voice broke the calming silence we shared. I invited him to stay in school hours after the classes ended – to break it off with him.

My words echoed across the empty room and when they reached the other man, he stopped his gleeful skips and turned to me. The big smile was gone; it was replaced by pursed lips and saucer-wide eyes. 

"Iwa-chan? Did I just hear you correctly? You wanna break up?"

I didn't answer. Not yet. Instead, I hung my head down and reminisced the time we spent together. Two years.

I thought about the times when Oikawa would wait, every day at 6 AM, in front of our house, just to walk me to school. 

I remembered him squeezing my hand after volleyball practices, indicating that he doesn't want me to leave just yet, instead he's hoping for me to stay and clean the gym with him. And, when everyone's gone, when all the balls and nets are kept, we make out in the storage room.

I once cooked for him on his birthday, and I burned myself since it was my first time. It was all worth it though. I saw my moron's twinkling eyes and blushing cheeks. Those were more than enough reward for the burns I got. The pain was worth it.

Then I began remembering the times he has gotten confessions from guys and girls.

Him cancelling plans with me to go out with his friends the last minute.

A painful memory of him making me wait during my birthday because he preferred to stay late in school and help our homeroom teacher out.

I remembered him leaving me by myself during parties. He lets himself be dragged by his friends to beer pongs, to dance floors – just away from me, far enough for him to be unreachable.

Now, that pain, that wasn't worth it. I'm a high school student. I'm young. I just wanna have fun. I don't want to be this hurt. It's unbearable, awful, and it made it harder to breathe.

I looked up to him and said,

"Yeah, I do."

Oikawa didn't answer right away, didn't glance at me even. I continued eyeing him, saw his face go through different emotions. 

First, it was apparent that he was shocked. He then raised his eyebrows; his face contorted into an angry snarl, and glared at me.

"What the fuck? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" Oikawa yelled.

"After everything we've been through? You're just gonna end it? After how long we've been together? You're going to throw all those years away?" He rambled on.

"Do you think this is easy for me? I can't take it anymore!"

"What the fuck is the problem, Iwa-chan? What is your problem?"

"You love the crowd, you crave for attention while I run away from it. I don't—"

"What the hell?" Oikawa interrupted. He laughed. It wasn't a good-natured laugh. It was a sarcastic, mocking, and this-is-fucking-absurd one.

He made a tch sound and went quiet. He sat down, held his head in his hands, fisted his fingers at his hair. He aggressively grabbed the strands, breathed in, and breathed out. After a few minutes, he spoke.

"So it's my fault now? You want me to change? Or— oh my god— fuck, I didn't peg you to be like this, Iwaizumi. Shit, are you jealous of how popular I am? Is that it?"

What?

"You got it all wrong, Tooru. I'm not jealous of your popularity. In fact—"

"Well, fuck you. I'm outta here. I don't need you. I don't need envious people in my life."

"What? Tooru, no—"

"Whatever. Take care, I guess," Oikawa said as he went to the door.

Oh no way.

I grabbed his arm and forced him to face me.

"What the fuck? This is your problem, Oikawa. You don't fucking listen! You are so selfish and conceited. Newsflash! The world doesn't revolve around you! Stop thinking about yourself for once and look at the people surrounding you or else—"

"Or else what?" He said in a loud voice.

"Or else you'll end up losing everyone you care for!"

"Fuck you, Iwa. Why are you judging—" 

He began saying, but no. I wasn't fucking done. He wants an argument? I'll hand it to him in a silver platter.

"Huh, but that's what I'm not sure of. Do you even care for anyone at all? Did you even care about me and my feelings?"

As I said it, I saw something flash in his eyes – pain – but I'm still so mad so I paid it no mind. Besides, it was just for a second, he then began lashing out by slamming a chair against a table.

"Now you're questioning my feelings. You are so full of shit. You want a breakup? Then I'll gladly give it to you. Have a good fucking life. Bye. Thank you for wasting my two years. Weren't worth it. You're fucking boring."

He made a beeline to the door and this time, I didn't stop him.

Fuck him and his selfishness, really.

Boring? I wanna laugh. He has a twisted way of viewing what happiness is. His happiness depends on other people – that's so fucking sad and downright disgusting.

'You aren't worth it either,' I thought.

**2 days after**

I walked through the corridors of our school only to notice everyone's staring at me. 

'What the heck, it's too early for this,' I thought.

My head was aching since I drank three beers last night. After everything that's happened, even if we ended up hurting each other, I still had feelings for that idiot. And so I decided to drink my problems away. Never doing that again, though. The beer did not taste good and it didn't cure anything at all.

So I didn't really need this kind of attention. When I arrived in my designated classroom, I immediately sat down and called my seatmate, Mattsun. I asked him what the fuck is up with people.

"You don't know? Oikawa said something about you," Mattsun said.

Well, shit hit the fan. 

"He said you guys aren't friends anymore because you're a 'jealous bitch who doesn't wanna see his best friend happy'," Mattsun continued while doing the quotation mark thing with his hands.

Huh. He painted me as the bad guy. What an asshole. If this satisfied him, so be it. I'm tired of dealing with this kind of person. I'm so fed up with him.

I guess it was a good thing to break it off.

He's acting like a brat because his heart's breaking.

Well, good.

I'm glad I broke his heart. He deserved it since he's a douchebag.

Never mind that I broke my own at the same time; sacrifices were to be made.

I'm so worn out from adjusting myself to suit him and his preferences. I'm done making efforts for that person.

I've also had enough of sharing his attention with everyone. I'm sick of him and his attitude.

I'm young. The only thing I want is to have fun and play around with my lover. I shouldn't be hurting and suffering because of the very person I care for.

So this is okay. I'm entitled to happiness and I can't have it with him.

My decision was right. 

Oikawa is a conceited, insensitive, selfish bastard. He doesn't deserve my affection. He doesn't deserve me. 

All he ever did was give me pain. So I should be relieved to get rid of him, really.

I hate that I still fucking love him.

I really need to try and move on.

He caused me so much damage. 

And love isn't enough to even make me stay.

**II. College - the 2nd breakup**

"I- I think, we need to break up."

I finally managed to say it. I was still a crying mess, but at least I said it. 

"I think so, too."

The other person spoke after several heartbeats. 

Oikawa didn't look good. He had dark bags under his eyes. He had tiny bumps all over his face. His nose was red and his mouth's twisted in an ugly way.

He's still the most beautiful man I ever laid my eyes on.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

He was void of emotion. His voice sounded robotic. He seemed so mad and resigned at the same time. 

Well, who wouldn't be? His homophobic parents found out about our relationship.

The relationship we both worked so hard for. 

The one we thought would be the last in high school. Then, unknowingly, we were presented with a second chance. We didn't waste any time and began building 'us' again. We made great efforts to make this work.

Because we love each other that much.

I haven't really moved on from Tooru ever since. Heck, it's been years – two years from our breakup in high school, a year since we started again – and my feelings for the man haven't changed. Oh wait, they did. I thought I couldn't love him even more than I did before. I obviously thought wrong. Now, I love him so much to the point that my happiness is his. Gone was the selfish, high school Hajime who broke it off because he didn't want to share Oikawa with others. Now, I'm just here to support him in everything he does. I never wanna let him go.

We grew so much when we were apart. We became mature and we were turning into something better because of each other.

But alas, fate gave us an ultimatum. This time, shorter than our previous try.

We're in our last year in college. Oikawa's taking up the major he really loves. His university expenses were shouldered by his grandfather who created a trust fund for him for this sole purpose. Unfortunately, his grandpa placed it under the name of Tooru's father. So when the latter knew about his relationship with me – a guy – he threatened to cut Oikawa off the funds.

"You know, I could get a part time job."

"No, you can't."

He really can't. He has so many things going on with him in the university that it's not possible to add work on top of all those. He's never gonna have enough rest. I don't wanna see him suffer when there's an easier way.

"But, okay, let's say you can. Just how much will your pay be? It won't even cover the rent for your apartment."

"I could live with you."

We both know he couldn't. Him living with me will only solve one out of the dozens of problems he has.

"I just want what's best for you," I told him.

"Iwa, you're one of the best. For me. I can't let you go, I don't wanna let you go," the words were incoherent because he was crying so much, but I understood him just fine. 

That's how in tune we are with each other. It's a fucking shame we needed to part ways again.

"It's just temporary, Tooru. Once we graduate and find a job, we— you will be free as a bird."

"I know that," Tooru said.

"But... just like the old times, right?" He continued.

"Yes. Just like the old times."

"No waiting for one another."

"Yeah," I said, not looking at him.

"Whatever happens, if we're really meant to be together, then we will be together again. No one should be holding back from having a relationship with other people... right?" He rambled on.

"That's what we agreed on."

He began ugly crying. His sobs got so loud it's getting obvious he's having a hard time breathing. I can't fucking stand seeing him like this. I hugged him so tight I think I constricted his breathing altogether. But then he embraced me just as fiercely. His face buried into my neck.

"I love you so fucking much, Hajime. Thank you for loving me deeply enough to let me go and fulfill my dreams."

"As I've said, I'm always here for you. I love you, no matter what."

We hugged it out, kissed each other hard, cried and held each other to sleep one last time. 

Our last sleepover in my apartment.

No more late night cuddles.

No more early morning meditations.

No more helping each other out.

No more Tooru.

**2 weeks after**

It's 4 AM and I was on my way to a club near my apartment. I received a call from a familiar number. When I answered, it wasn't the voice I was expecting, it was of a stranger's.

"Do you know the owner of this phone? He's drunk and passed out here. If it was any other day, I wouldn't mind, but we're on full house and honestly, he's being an inconvenience," the stranger, which I figured was the bartender, spoke as soon as I picked up.

"I'm on my way there."

And so here I was, walking to the club, enduring the cold weather, to fetch my drunk ex-boyfriend.

He's self-destructing again.

He's always had the tendency to do so, I realized that when we got back together.

The Oikawa in high school blamed everyone but him. He destroyed everyone around him without meaning to.

This Tooru, though. The college Tooru, the guy I fell harder with. Don't get me wrong, he's still cocky, there's still an air of arrogance surrounding him, and he was still seemingly unattainable.

But... he blamed himself instead of other people – even if he knew it's not his fault. He tends to damage himself, not wanting to hurt everyone close to him.

He really has changed a lot.

And I love him so much.

I quickened my steps to reach him faster. The club was still alive and loud when I entered. I walked to the counter, to where the bartender said Oikawa was.

"Hey," I called his attention, tapping his cheeks at the same time.

He stirred and opened his eyes.

"Iwa? Is that you? Wh- why are you he—" He stopped speaking and clutched his head.

"My head's aching so bad. I'm tired, please help me, Iwa?" He began crying and pulling his hair.

I grabbed his hands and caressed his scalp.

"Let's get out of here. Can you stand?"

He could.

I made him drink water before we had gone out.

And then we were outside. Shivering because of the wind, warming ourselves with each other's heat.

And that sobered Oikawa up.

When we reached my apartment, he was walking on his own. He sat on the couch, looked at me, and motioned for me to sit beside him.

When I did, he immediately kissed me. He kissed me hard. He kissed me senseless.

The next thing I knew, our shirts were gone. They were now on top of the coffee table beside us. I stopped kissing him, took a deep breath, and looked at him. His eyes were still closed and his lips seemed like it had a life on its own because it began seeking my neck. I shivered and gave him more access to it. 

Then I stopped.

I held his shoulders and gently pushed him away from me. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. His eyes were doing all the questioning.

"You're drunk."

He moved closer to me again.

"Tooru, please stop. You'll regret this in the morning," I whispered.

"I won't," his voice was firm and hard.

His hands were about to grab my waist. I gripped them to stop him.

"Please. Please, Iwa. Give me this. One last time," Oikawa pleaded. 

After a few breaths, he became pliant in my arms. He started crying and held the throw pillow beside him tightly.

I can't do anything but hug him. I couldn't give him what he wanted. It would end badly. It would be harder for us to let go and move on. 

I embraced him until he fell asleep. I cradled his body in my arms, stroked his neck in a way I know he loved, and kissed him on his temple. 

My heart's breaking all over again. 

But I'll be okay. We will be okay. This is what's best for him. And because this is, I am willing to go through insurmountable pain – again.

This time, love was more than enough, that's why I didn't stay.

**III. Age: 28; full-grown adults – the last breakup**

"I'm tired," I said as I looked into the eyes of the person I loved so much.

They were brown, with specks of gold in them. They were my home, my solace, my source of comfort for years. Those eyes would always light up whenever I find them with my own.

But that's not the case today. The eyes I'm looking into right now were muted and dimmed. They were full of grief, loneliness, and dismay.

"I love you, but I'm tired," I continued saying.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you want," he replied.

"It's not— don't say sorry for wanting something different, Tooru."

"I know, I just felt like saying it."

We were again placed in a difficult situation. After four years of loving and taking care of each other, we have decided to end it again.

He desires to be unrestrained and unbound; I just wanna settle down.

He yearns to travel the world; I wish to claim a home.

He wants to be untied just yet; I'm ready to marry him.

He craves to always feel youthful; I'm aware I'm not getting any younger.

"Do you regret it? The last four years we spent together?"

"Tooru, why would I regret the best thing that's ever happened to me?"

"Don't you think I wasted your time?"

"How can it be a waste when you made me feel so loved and happy?"

"Are you not mad?"

"I could never get mad at the love of my life."

"I'm not, though. We're breaking up, we aren't meant to be," Tooru softly responded.

"Whether we're meant to be or not, it doesn't change the fact that you're the love of my life. I've never loved someone as much as I love you, always remember that."

"I love you too, Hajime. I know you'll find someone soon enough. Someone who cares for the same things as you do. Someone you will love far greater than me."

"I really hope so, Tooru. I wish you all the happiness the world has to offer."

After a few moments of looking at each other, I broke the eye contact and held his hand in mine. I traced his palm with my fingers, memorizing the outline and the feel of it. This will be the last time I get to do this. 

"So, is this really it?"

"I guess this is it, Tooru," I answered and looked up to him.

"One last kiss?"

Who am I to deny the Oikawa Tooru that? Instead of saying anything, I smiled and moved closer to him, pressing my lips with his. I closed my eyes and accepted his kiss. I was so lost in the sensation that I almost didn't notice the wetness on my face. 

Almost. 

When I did, I stopped kissing him and opened my eyes, only to see him crying – we both were, I just realized.

"I love you so much, Hajime," Oikawa said after several hiccups.

"I love you more than anything else, Tooru."

"But we need to do this right?" Tooru asked.

"Yes. If we continue this relationship, we wouldn't be happy in the long run. It's best to end it now."

"It fucking hurts," he said while gripping my arm.

"I know. We'll get through this. We always do."

"I love you."

"I know," I told the man while touching his face. He leaned towards my touch, his eyes turning soft until they closed.

"I guess I need to start packing, huh," Tooru began.

"You don't need to get out of here right away."

"Yeah, but I need to. Start, that is."

"I'll help you."

"I love you."

"And I love you too."

**2 years after**

It was my day off. I was on my couch, scrolling through my phone, using the television as the background noise.

A message from my Instagram then popped up.

It was from Tooru.

A selfie from a bakery in Paris.

I smiled and sent him a selfie of me, chilling in my home.

We talked for a few minutes after the picture exchange. It was always a riot with Tooru – in a good way. He was always fun to be with and to talk to.

I miss him a lot.

I heard the beep of my door, indicating that someone typed the passcode correctly, and was about to enter the apartment.

"Have you eaten?" The person who just entered called out.

"Not yet," I answered back.

I heard footsteps getting nearer. I involuntarily smiled.

"What were you up to?"

I gave him my phone.

"Oikawa's in Paris. Eating from a small bakery which I'm sure are a little too expensive for us," I chuckled.

"Oh my, he's gotten so tan!" I knew he was looking at Oikawa's selfie.

"He just came from Brazil, that's why," I told him.

"Yeah, I remember that," Koushi said while taking a selfie. I bet he's gonna send that to Oikawa.

"What do you wanna have for dinner?" Koushi asked while handing my phone back.

"Whatever you want, babe," I answered, taking the phone from him.

Koushi went to the kitchen to start preparing our dinner. I heard a beep from my phone so I unlocked it. It was a reply from Oikawa. He said Koushi was more attractive than me, and that he misses him so much.

I smiled. I love that we're still friends.

I thought about my life with Koushi. How we'd just completed the papers needed for the adoption of a child we both loved at first sight. How we both had stable jobs, had enough savings to buy our own apartment and start a family together.

And then I thought about how Oikawa was travelling from continent to continent. He was always sending us souvenirs he thought we would love. He shared stories to us every day. He's thanking me every chance he got for making him happy. 

I knew we made the right decision. 

We both got the things we yearned for, while not letting each other go.

I thank the heavens for giving me what I wanted. 

Oikawa was a great lover, and an even greater friend.

We finally got the happy ending we hoped for.

That's when I knew, love was enough, so I shouldn't stay – as his soulmate, that is.

**Author's Note:**

> not that impressed w this work but was going through a breakup when i wrote this. guess who's a whole mf circus that got back w the bf days after... yeah ME
> 
> also... stop me from writing angst I BEG


End file.
